I have lost my footprints in the jewl-like snow
Only finding my way back to strangers homes
Inhabited by the moving, the writhing, bedsheet
Of worms. In day beleaguered by talking screens
The apathy bars, this drugged mind, flare-following
Ever turned off itself, dough used to bake something alien
Like a bird crying in childbirth.
In the end we all face ourselves and spit
I met a guy who polished the mirror, ha ha!
Like anything makes a difference, the devil’s fixed.
If you declare bankruptcy, shave you head
And chant upon a mountain or write odes to birds
Perhaps that will save you (a poor parachute)
From the tentacled pit of melancholy that edges
Into our lives over age, like a cancer black.
Unless unless unless unless…We smile –
No! Who dares smirk in quicksand?
Though I’ve never seen anyone happier
Than a lunatic with a yo-yo.
I’ve seen upon the plains of shmucks
Weird contentment, like medicated stock
Nay, you will not hypnotise me!
No, let me have my beer bitter
My spirits unchased and unforgiven.
Let this vessel sink, its boards buckle
And the captain dive down holding the anchor.
They will drag him up one day, seaweed in his hair
And below the fish-eaten eyes, witness a scaly smile.
That is my mirth. That is my paradise
A cold plate that would depress a Spartan
But real and unlosable. My bereft mountain
Of all the places I could claim empire
I placed mine on the most jagged peak
Unconquerable, undesirable. Shit but real.